The Bumbling Flâneur


Hi, I’m Aleyna! In Italy, I once accidentally kissed my cooking class instructor on the mouth when she was going for my cheek. Read my travel blog!

I’m new to embarrassing myself in a public forum (willingly, anyway), meaning content here is currently scarce. Subscribe for schadenfreude and awkwardness! Click here to learn more about me and this self-serving website!


*after a pickpocket steals our wallets and our phones are dead and we don’t speak the language and the metro has stopped running and…

How to Avoid Being an Asshole Tourist

I spent the last week hiking and eating blueberry everything in and around Acadia National Park in Maine. While the trip was wonderful, I once again encountered the same frustrating paradox that comes with traveling anywhere scenic: the most beautiful locations are filled with the absolute worst people. Only on vacation does one get to…

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Inspiration for Unique Eiffel Tower Photos

Say you’ve endured a sleepless night in the middle seat of a $900 flight to Paris. You arrive at Charles de Gaulle, book an Uber to the Champs de Mars, and gaze up at the Eiffel Tower in wonder. It is majestic, wondrous, a feat of engineering so spectacular it makes engineering seem interesting. You…

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Visiting the Capuchin Crypt in Rome

The bone chapel: is it a Scandinavian metal band or an actual place? For those of you into avant garde interior design, you’re in luck, because it’s the latter. If you’re looking for off-the-beaten-path attractions in Rome, look no further than the Capuchin Crypt.

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Visiting Tony Soprano’s House

Some people make pilgrimages to Mecca, others to the Wailing Wall, but for people like me (worldly, shallow, pronounces ricotta “rigotte” even though they’re not Italian), the religious destination of choice is Tony Soprano’s New Jersey McMansion. Know Before You Go There’s not much to it, honestly. The house is in a residential neighborhood in…

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Meteora, Greece: Come Shit in a Hole!

I could tell you how wonderful Meteora is, but the internet has already exhausted that topic, and besides, there are much more urgent matters to discuss: the squat toilet. Well, okay, let me explain what Meteora is for the uninitiated. Built atop picturesque cliffs and mountains, this cluster of monasteries in northern Greece is home…

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Death and Despair: My Hiking Trip in the Calanques National Park in France
In which I do my best not to throw up on a 6.7 mile hike in the idyllic South of France …
Street Art in Marseille: What Else is There to Look at in this City?
Should you find yourself in Marseille, make sure to check out Le Panier district's vibrant street art.
Planning a Perfect Picnic in Paris <3
Fine dining and breathing. Only in Paris is it possible to empty one's head of everything but that. And while there …